If there is one thing that can make being a coparent difficult, it’s being in a situation where you don’t feel comfortable talking to your ex-partner. You both may have differing opinions on how to raise your child or questions about upcoming changes to the custody plan, but if you aren’t comfortable talking to one another, then you may have a significant problem and a higher risk of miscommunication hurting your relationship further.
One of the best things you and your coparent can do is to have good communication. How can you do that?
1. Stop fighting
It may be easier said than done, but it’s time to stop fighting. Arguments are bound to happen from time to time, but both of you should sit down and recognize your role in starting them. Not every disagreement has to turn into an argument. By communicating your wishes and listening to the other parent, you may find that you’re better able to communicate and minimize fights in the future.
2. Stop using your children as messengers
Another thing to do is to stop using your children to deliver messages for you. It’s not fair to treat your children that way in the first place, and it makes it more likely that the message will get misinterpreted or miscommunicated. If you have to talk to the other parent, do so when you drop off your child, send a text, write an email or give them a call.
3. Use communication tools when talking is tough
If communicating is difficult because of fighting or conflicts, try a court-supported app to talk to the other parent. Some of these apps and programs allow you to send court-monitored texts and messages, which helps minimize the risk of a breakdown in communication due to name calling or other negative exchanges.
Opening up the lines of communication will help you be a better parent and coparent. Your attorney can help you determine what the best option is for you if you’re having trouble getting in touch with the other parent or communicating without an argument.