Protecting Your Interests, Preserving Your Future

Do these 3 things if you’re divorcing a narcissist

On Behalf of | Apr 5, 2021 | Divorce

Divorces can be emotionally-filled, contentious matters. Divorcing spouses may be able to work out a settlement through mediation in some situations. Their ability to do so deteriorates when one of the spouses is a narcissist

Narcissism is a mental health condition that causes a person to be self-absorbed. They become so focused on themselves that they can’t think about how their actions impact others. This self-absorption can make it challenging to work with your spouse during a divorce because they want everything to go their way.

Hide your reactions

One thing that empowers a narcissist is others’ reactions. You may find it helpful to mask your responses to their antics, so they won’t see how they’re affecting you. It might also be best for you to use written communication, such as texts or emails, as doing so may make it easier for you to hide your reactions from your ex. You may also communicate through a third party, such as your attorney.

Document everything

Narcissistic individuals can twist the truth. The reality they recognize is often different from the reality that the rest of the world sees. You should document every conversation with them to help keep track of where things stand. You should also log any money that you spend on the divorce or the children should you or your attorney need to use it as part of your divorce case in the future. 

Talk to your attorney

If your ex is a diagnosed narcissist, then you need to let your attorney know. This knowledge may impact the divorce strategy options that your lawyer suggests. 

Your attorney may also be able to help you handle the antics and even anticipate some of them. Knowing that they’re up against a narcissist may also encourage your lawyer to prepare for a trial. It’s unlikely that mediation will work in such instances, as narcissists are often likely to avoid compromise.